It's hard not to see the meme with Giorgio Tsoukalos in your head this weekend, and just, like, change a word.
Like, 'I'm not saying it's the Presbyterians again...'
But it sure sounds like it definitely was.
Five men have been arrested in Germany suspected of being involved in a plot to drive a vehicle into people at a Christmas market.
Three Moroccans, an Egyptian and a Syrian were detained on Friday over the plan to target a market in the southern Bavarian state. Authorities said they suspected an "Islamist motive".
Prosecutors said the Egyptian - a 56-year-old - was alleged to have "called for a vehicle attack... with the aim of killing or injuring as many people as possible". The Moroccans allegedly agreed to carry out the attack.
Officials in Germany have been on high alert after previous attacks at Christmas markets, including in Magdeburg last December that killed six people.
Authorities did not say when the planned attack was supposed to take place or which market was the target, though said they believed it to be one in the Dingolfing-Landau area, north east of Munich.
Actually, we've heard the same countries and names so often it's almost a sick riff on the old joke, 'a priest, a preacher, and a rabbi walk into a bar.'
One is actually being called 'an Islamic preacher' - what? 'Imam' is too hard to say, or are they afraid to use it, as it can piss people off now that everyone knows what it means?
...The suspects were arrested on Friday evening by special operations forces. Security authorities became aware of the suspects two days earlier, though authorities have not disclosed how they identified them.
The five suspects are a 56-year-old Egyptian, three Moroccans aged 30, 28 and 22, and a 37-year-old Syrian. Four of them are now in custody after appearing before a magistrate on Saturday and one was placed in preventive detention.
The Egyptian suspect, described as an Islamic preacher, allegedly called for an attack during gatherings at a mosque in the Dingolfing-Landau area.
BREAKING:
— Visegrád 24 (@visegrad24) December 13, 2025
German police foil Islamist terror attack against German Christmas market.
5 men from Morocco, Egypt and Syria arrested for planning to ram a vehicle into Germans visiting a Christmas market near Dingolfing in Lower Bavaria. pic.twitter.com/5lKlkJpKGu
People who have never known what Europe was like before they figuratively threw open the Gates of Vienna and invited the horde in are wistfully wondering if maybe it was...you know...different.
Perhaps attending felt a tad more festive and less prison camp, with a twist of Russian roulette mayhem-like.
I wonder what it was like to be young 30 years ago. To go to Christmas markets as a young adult and not even conceive that some radical 3rd world savage would do stuff like this. https://t.co/GmEDWiCtXe
— bumbadum (@bumbadum14) December 14, 2025
And, yes. It's 'forever now' because no one will do anything about ruthlessly forcing them to mind their manners and sending them home.
“Three Moroccans, an Egyptian and a Syrian were detained on Friday over the plan to target a market in the southern Bavarian state. Authorities said they suspected an "Islamist motive".”
— Winston Marshall (@MrWinMarshall) December 14, 2025
Is this how it will be in Europe forever now? https://t.co/K1it8YHsoL
The Bavarian Christmas Markets are not tightening security, only announcing they've determined the threat is 'abstractly high.'
What in the wide world of abstraction does that even mean?
...Christmas markets in the Dingolfing-Landau district are continuing as planned, district administrator Werner Bumeder said.
Security measures at Bavarian Christmas markets are not being tightened, with the threat level remaining "abstractly high" as already determined at the start of the season. Police presence remains correspondingly high, though authorities said no specific targets are known.
Herrmann had announced at the end of November that markets would have a strong police presence, checks on people and bags, and monitoring of a knife ban in force since October 2024.
And yay! for those knife bans.
They have been so effective against the vehicles slaughtering market goers by simply running them down as they stroll through these past few years. I do hope they don't let up on their sharp implement vigilance.
Bremen alone has spent €3 million on security for its Christmas Market.
🇩🇪🔴"The reality of Christmas markets in 2025"
— Remix News & Views (@RMXnews) December 3, 2025
Anti-terror security measures are costing the German Christmas market in the city of Bremen "an impressive €3 million."
This includes increased video surveillance, concrete blocks, bollards, special barriers, and patrols.… pic.twitter.com/HKc9vN3lGr
If a town can't afford to protect its cherished holiday tradition from aliens who 'want to kill as many people as possible' anymore?
A potential attack on a Bavarian Christmas market near Dinggolfing-Landau has been foiled, the Munich Public Prosecutor’s Office and the police announced. The five foreign suspects allegedly planned “to kill as many people as possible.”
Then they cancel.
NO CHRISTMAS MARKET FOR YOU
We are now at the “French cannot celebrate the New Year because they might be slaughtered” stage of mass migration ✨✨ https://t.co/N1ddkMkDln
— Brianna Lyman (@briannalyman2) December 14, 2025
Diversity is our strength!
And state security is our fatal weakness.
🇫🇷 Paris has canceled New Year’s celebrations due to “security reasons”
— Visegrád 24 (@visegrad24) December 14, 2025
Authorities in the French capital have decided to cancel the traditional New Year’s music celebration on the Champs-Élysées, which was scheduled, as in previous years, to take place on December 31, 2025.… pic.twitter.com/6fx1sVse6t
...According to officials, the beloved event, traditionally filled with music, lights, and festivity, will not go ahead due to a crisis linked to a large number of illegal migrants in the region and the state’s inability to guarantee security at mass gatherings.
France Info reports that Paris police asked Mayor Anne Hidalgo to cancel the celebration, warning that the risk of stampedes, riots, and uncontrolled crowd movements is too high.
No one saw this happening, right?
Hold on. You’re telling me the group of people that has consistently desired to conquer France since AD 732 is still trying to do so, only now for some reason they’re being invited in? pic.twitter.com/hadJtNIG6i
— Michael Knowles (@michaeljknowles) December 15, 2025
🇩🇪🎄The German Christmas market in Magdeburg has been suspended over security concerns, sparking a nationwide debate.
— Remix News & Views (@RMXnews) November 12, 2025
The question: Why are Christmas markets in Germany being canceled while countries like 🇵🇱Poland and the 🇨🇿Czech Republic have no serious terror threats at their… pic.twitter.com/MUW5fofh5w
...The question: Why are Christmas markets in Germany being canceled while countries like 🇵🇱Poland and the 🇨🇿Czech Republic have no serious terror threats at their own Christmas markets?
"The question should not be how to protect Christmas markets, but why do we need to protect Christmas markets," said AfD politician @UlrichSiegmund.
"Go to the Czech Republic, go to Poland, go to other countries that have not opened their borders, that have not sold their own security off." says Siegmund.
Magdeburg's Christmas market was targeted by Saudi doctor Taleb al-Abdulmohsen last year, killing 6 people and wounding hundreds in a catastrophic vehicle-ramming attack. The doctor is currently on trial for the heinous crime.
Siegmund says such attacks are a symptom of the "New Germany," which has millions of migrants from countries with a history of hostility to Christianity and liberal values.
He says he wants the old Germany back, one free from concrete terror barriers, police armed with machine guns, and police checking elderly women for knives.
That's why AfD gets painted as right-wing extremists.
Every German official in the ruling coalition has agreed that the greatest threat to democracy isn't the Syrian with a knife, but an infirm 70-year-old German grandmother trying to defend herself from one.
Of course, he'd want those good old days back.
He should put it on a Christmas list while he's still allowed to make one.
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